Ranu's Reviews

Teresa is ready pop out numero quarto, but first things first—finding makeup for the hospital.

America Runs on Dunkin—Not Joe

I guess after three kids, you have a certain level of comfort as we see Joe make coffee at home and Teresa answer emails while #4 is in a holding pattern ready to land at Hackensack Hospital. Teresa was supposed to be there at 9AM and got there at 10AM. Not really bad for Teresa, however, she is required to wear hospital garb instead of her Juicy Couture jumpsuit.

Caroline’s son Christopher is looking to get into the car wash business and one of Albert’s friends (Rick) just happens to own a car wash—so Christopher is going to get his big shot at running a car wash. Rick is allowing Chris to run the place on Wednesday, which is the slowest day of the week. I can see the wheels turning in Christopher’s head and so must Albert, because he tells his son not to do anything illegal when he’s in charge.

Model Children

Danielle and her children are out to eat when the subject of Christine’s modeling career and near barf experience comes up. Christine’s maturity is well beyond her years as she completely understands that modeling might not work out for her and she is OK with that. Now I don’t think Danielle is OK with that answer as she must now find a high-paying career option for her oldest child to support her into her golden years.

Fourth Time’s a Charm

Teresa is waiting for her little bundle of joy to pop out of her somewhat groomed Chucky while she occupies her time by chatting on the phone.  Then they show the big-ass needle that went into her back—OMG—so glad I don’t have to give birth!

Teresa has to take a dump which is code for the baby is ready to come out. After several ear-piercing screams—the baby came out and thankfully Joe didn’t throw up his hamburger. The kid just came out of the chute and Teresa is already asking to put foo foo things on her.

This Coach Doesn’t Come with Matching Shoes

Ashley comes back to Jackie’s house and apologizes for last week’s mini-meltdown. Jackie then suggests that Ashley go see a life coach after she hears that her career aspiration is to work in Mel’s Diner with Flo and the rest of the girls. Of course Ashley doesn’t plan on seeing any type of life coach and left her mother on the bench.

Chris and Dina agree with Ashley—there is no need for a lifecoach. Besides, Chris says if Derek gets out of line he’s going to show him what is in the safe. This isn’t any little fireproof box—this safe is like eight feet tall! If Franklin Lakes ever gets invaded—run to Jackie’s house because Chris can arm a small militia with all the firepower in that safe!

Skankalicious

Chris got to be an intern for a day at Scores and didn’t even have to pay a cover charge.  This kid is living the dream and Scores has to be a much better gig than the Brownstone. Albie showsup to support his brother—yeah, OK. I’m a guy—I know he was there for the hookup from his little bro. Looks like it was a good time for all and Chris has an idea of combining a car wash with a gentlemen’s club. Not a bad idea. Throw in a lap dance while your car goes through the wash and I’ll be there every Wednesday!

Cuckoo for Charity

Danielle is out to eat once again. For someone that is so worried about money, this chick sure eats out a lot. Anyway, she meets her friend Kathy there who tells her about a baby that has cancer. There is a fundraiser at the Brownstone and the family wants Danielle to attend. Even Danielle can’t refuse a baby with cancer and she agrees to attend.

Crazy Talk

Zen Jen thinks it will be best if Dina talks to Danielle to get a few things off her chest and then she’ll have closure. I don’t think Zen Jen ever met Danielle before. Dina has a meeting with Caroline and Jackie to let them know the plan so they don’t go “ape shit” if it gets back to them that Dina sat down with Danielle. The oh-so-wise Caroline tells Dina that she doesn’t think she is going to get what she wants from Danielle, but isn’t going to stop her from trying to talk to her.

Rim Job

Wednesday rolls around and Chris is the man in charge at the Perfect Shine Car Wash in Woodlawn Park (formerly West Paterson). Damn, that place is less than five miles from my house. Why couldn’t I be on McBride Ave when they were filming this scene!! Chris got a bunch of young girls to help bring in customers. They were scantily clad, but not too bad. Rick was happy with the traffic and the males in the area can’t wait for Chris to come back and manage Perfect Shine again.

Escort Service

Danielle felt the need to employ the services of a few ex-cons to escort her to the charity event at the Brownstone. I survived quite a few Italian weddings there, so I don’t know what the hell Danielle thinks is going to happen to her at a frigging charity event. Feathered-hair Danny agrees to watch her back and assures Danielle that nobody is going to mess with her as long as he is around—not even Leif Garrett.