Ranu's Reviews

This week opens up with Jacqueline painting a shirt with her son CJ. Most people would use a plain, white T-shirt to paint, but Jacqueline is using a Ralph Lauren polo shirt as a canvas for her child’s art project. She asks her son if he misses his older sister Ashley—which he does. Ashley wishes she could be around her younger brothers more, but after seeing her brief encounter last week with her momma—I completely understand why she stays away.

1-800-FLOWERS

When Danielle arrives at home with her youngest daughter Jillian, there is a vase with roses by her front door. These flowers definitely did not come from a box, but they did come from Jacqueline. You get a little insight into Danielle because the first question she asks Jillian is if she thought Jacqueline sent the flowers because she missed her luncheon.

Danielle calls Jacqueline to thank her for the flowers, but Jacqueline doesn’t answer because she is still in the art studio with CJ. It was a nice gesture until Danielle called back a second time and accused Jacqueline of not being her own woman.

Can’t Change the Ho Bag

Teresa pays a visit to Dina’s house and the hostess is reluctant to give Teresa any type of herbal tea because she doesn’t want to induce the birth of Teresa’s child. I’m pretty sure this was the longest conversation Teresa has had all season without mentioning sex or her Chucky.

The girls are relaxing on the couch and start talking about who else? Danielle. Dina brings up a good point about Danielle knowing deep inside that she wasn’t going to her luncheon—hell, even I knew she wasn’t going.

One thing is abundantly clear—Teresa doesn’t like Danielle. Dina is trying to slowly accept Danielle, but Danielle is rushing things as far as Dina is concerned.

Little Nicky

Caroline pays a visit to Jacqueline’s house and confesses that she has grown very fond of her. She has more time to spend with Jacqueline since her kids are all grown up. You would think with all the time Jacqueline spends with Caroline that she would know her better, but she proceeds to bring up the subject of Danielle.

The extremely wise Caroline simply asks Jackie if Danielle has acknowledged baby Nicholas—which she has not. Case closed! She also thinks that Jackie might be regretting the fact that she stood up for Danielle. If I can just quote my man Anthony Williams from Project Runway—“Damn, lesson learned.”

Exit Stage Left

Teresa takes her trio of girls to Stage Left in Franklin Lakes for some clothes for Gia. The girls spread out in three different directions and I don’t know how the heck a woman that is nine months pregnant manages.  Gabriella is whining, Milania is taking everything off the racks and Gia is buying all the clothes that Milania didn’t take.  Almost two grand later, Teresa and her U-Haul of shopping bags exit Stage Left.

Get a Job Girlfriend

The next segment opens up with one of Danielle’s dogs grinding its ass along the carpet like a Stanley Steemer commercial—better add carpet cleaning to the “to do” list. Karin the realtor comes over for a visit and wisely keeps her shoes on this time.

Danielle’s ex was very receptive at first to fixing up the house, but things didn’t work out and it looks like Danielle is going to have to go to Home Depot and rent her own steam machine for the carpets.

Teresa is telling her to get a job and that she’s not too pretty to work.  The thought of going to the Home Depot on Route 46, even though it is open 24 hours, is too much for Danielle and she decides to take her house off the market.

The Ugly Stage

Teresa and company are heading down Route 80 to the big city for Fashion Week. For some reason, Joe starts poking fun at Gia and the little diva doesn’t like being dissed by her daddy. She starts crying and Joe continues to make fun of her. Hopefully this won’t affect her walk down the runway.

Creeper Bradley

Danielle arrives at Fashion Week with Christine and Jillian. Bradley is dishing out some creepy-ass hugs to everyone. The children don’t look very receptive to his huggie hugs and maybe Bradley should just stick to old-fashioned handshakes.

Christine is there for some lessons on walking the runway. She has her mom on one end and some other dude on the opposite end while Christine has to walk back and forth. Maybe it is just me, but Christine doesn’t seem too excited about all of this—in fact, she tells her walking instructors that she is pissed at both of them—and she’s done.

Show Time

The time has come for the girls to walk down the runway. Christine has a little bit of food and then is off to makeup. Gia is ready to roll and gets visited by Caroline and Jackie backstage before her big debut. Teresa finally gets back to her seat and the show begins.

Gia came out and did a great job of working it on the runway. After the show, Joe finally learned his lesson and complimented his daughter.

Christine is having a bit of a shoe problem, but finally finds the right pair. Danielle tells us that she threw up in her mouth a little when she saw Christine come out. That’s pretty funny because Christine looks like she is going to throw up a lot more than just a little. She is dry heaving on the stage and has to be taken to the back room so she doesn’t hurl on ther unway.

If this show doesn’t pick up I think I’m going to hurl!