Ranu's Reviews

Had to watch this episode twice before I started writing a recap and pinch myself. If I didn’t watch it live, I would’ve thought my DVR recorded the bizarre-world version of Jerseylicious. Alexa didn’t say “glamfairy” 300 times, Anthony was pissed off and I saw Tracy and Olivia with subdued hair and makeup.

Big Apple—Meet Big Orange

I guess since Alexa had her “come to Christy” meeting last week that she is now on Team Gatsby. Gayle, Christy and Alexa are deciding on what to do with Tracy and Olivia. Gayle sees the potential, but something needs to be done about their appearance.  The three spend the next minute poking fun at the outfits that Tracy and Olivia have been wearing to work.  Five episodes in and I feel like we’re having a flashback episode already.

Tracy and Olivia are going to get out of Jersey and spend some time in the big city. Little to do they know they are going to New York City for “make unders” and to also learn a thing or two on how to hone their craft.

Olivia breaks the news to Gigi that “we’re” going to thecity, but it doesn’t look like Lady Gi Gi was informed about the girls’ road trip. She is visibly upset about this and decides to ask Gayle why there isn’t any room for her in the Gatsbymobile. The trip to the city is for training and “make unders”—two things that Gigi is not in need of—so she can rest easy now.

Don’t Make My Mother Look Like A Whore ( “hoo-wer” )

I’m convinced now that Jerseylicious needs a spinoff and it should becalled “Frankie’s House.”  I would tune in for 30 minutes each night just to watch Frankie’s family eat dinner.  Gigi is trying to convince Frankie’s Mom (Carla) to come into the Gatsby for “the works” and Frankie is concerned that Gigi is going to make his mom look like a “hoo-wer.” Now I was expecting Frankie Sr. to get upset with his son for talking like that at the dinner table, but all he cares about is finding out the proper pronunciation of the word ( “whore” or “hoo-wer” ) and a knife for his meal.

Carla says she might get highlights and then Frankie delivers a great one-liner: “You’re like 50.” Frankie just doesn’t want his mama looking like a “hoo-wer,” but Carla tells Gigi that if I want you to make me look like a whore—make me look like a whore.

Anthony Cranky Pants

Business is booming at the Gatsby, so removing four people from the salon for Olivia and Tracy’s Big Adventure may not be the best idea—unless they bring someone in to help out on the floor. Anthony and Gigi are discussing this in front of the customers until Anthony decides to go ask Gayle for help. Gayle shoots down Anthony and then he really gets pissed.

My, What Big Sunglasses You Have

Alexa must not have received the memo that it was big-ass, novelty sunglass day in the city for Gatsby employees. Gayle, Tracy and Olivia looked like they were ready to hit the ski slopes instead of the streets of Manhattan.  The girls were sent off shopping for 45 minutes while Gayle and Alexa secretly headed over to the Warren-Tricomi Salonto tell the boys that they had their work cut out for them.

Tracy was learning the finer points of something to do with hair—I wasn’t really paying attention—Tracy’s boobs were covered up and I wasn’t the least bit interested in what Iggy Pop was telling her. However, Iggy seemed a bit upset when Tracy asked him if he ever did runway models. Let me rephrase that—“did the hair” of runway models.

Hair Pie

Frankie’s mom comes into the salon for “the works” and Gigi jumps out of her station and into her future mother-in-law’s arms. Anthony strolls in and mentions how everyone could use a little help—which appears to be a dig at Christy about her mom for refusing to hire some junior people.

Cue the Saturday Night Fever music and Anthony’s new intern Filippo. When that kid said he was Anthony’s intern I laughed out loud—the look on Christy’s face was priceless! Filippo tells Anthony that she’s looking at him like he has five heads.

Christy is worried about what her mom is going to think, but then gets a wave of relief when she finds out that Filippo cuts his friends’ hair. Anthony reassures her that he’ll talk to Gayle.

Filippo’s father is the king of pizza in Staten Island and this young prince of the pie is “hair” to the throne. I don’t know why this kid wants to cut hair—there’s a lot of dough in the pizza business! He has some mad pizza-spinning skills—so it will be interesting to see how he works out at theGatsby.

His first assignment is to wash Carla’s hair. Within five seconds we learn that Filippo is calling everyone sweetheart and blondie—again I laughed out loud! He tells everyone that he’s bad with names but Anthony wants him to at least try. Christy is not too happy with the new monikers that Filippo is distributing to the Gatsby clientele.

Edward Scissorhands

Edward has a sit down with Olivia and Tracy and immediately starts cutting into their look.  He starts out by slamming Olivia’s bracelets, boots and rings. Then he moves on to Tracy and tells her that her hair and earrings are too big. Tracy must have been sniffing some nail polish remover because she believes that he is picking on Olivia and only saying a few things to her because he doesn’t want Olivia to feel bad. Lastly, he tells Olivia that she has to ditch her nails. Tracy was laughing at Olivia’s talon-like nails and thinks that her five nails are equivalent to Olivia’s one nail. Oh yeah—he also tells them to stop tanning and then breaks the news to them that his stylists are going to work on both them.

The girls had their “make-unders” and I’m probably going to be the only one (besides Olivia and Tracy) that agrees with the girls, but I think they looked better before. Maybe because I’m a Jersey boy—but I didn’t think their look was bad at all—OK, maybe they could tone down the orangeness, but other that than I think they both look just fine to me.

The girls must have agreed with me because the second Gayle and Alexa left they sprinted to the bathroom and turned back into Jerseylicious. Gayle and Alexa were waiting for them at a restaurant/club and couldn’t figure out what was taking the girls so long, but as soon as Olivia and Tracy walked in I think even the sushi on their plate said, “WTF?”

Filippo Bigalow

Anthony’s new intern is really making a good impression…on the ladies. Not only is he sweeping hair and passing out drinks, Filippo is providing enough eye candy for these ladies to send them into a diabetic coma. He is flirting with everyone in the salon—including Gigi’s future mother-in-law, but she doesn’t seem to mind it one bit. Although she did mention that she has kids older than him. Carla was all done with her hair and the Italian Stallion wouldn’t let her leave without a compliment.

The next time we see Filippo he’s working the girls again and I think Christy is finally warming up to him. He definitely has a way with the women and the Gatsby would be foolish not to hire this guy full time. You can almost feel the customers’ desire when it comes to this guy. Throw a poster of Filippo in the window without his shirt on and the Gayle’s two million dollar loan will be repaid by the end of the month.

Olivia Got Nailed

Gayle and Alexa showed their obvious frustration with the girls after they were made over, stepped into a phone booth and then transformed back into their Jersey jumpsuits.  They were told that they have to take it down a notch if they want to work at the Gatsby, however, Gayle should have been more specific in defining a “notch” because I’m sure Olivia thinks she just has to lose one of her 155 bracelets.

The next day Tracy and Olivia are treated to a manicure. It looked like Olivia won the lottery when Gayle mentioned the manicure, but that excitement was short lived when she learned her nails were getting chopped off. This was just too much for Olivia to deal with and she ran out of the nail salon. Alexa went after her and was able to find Olivia by the extremely high-pitched squeak that was coming out of her orange mouth. It sounded like somebody threw my kid’s Zhu Zhu pet in the deep fryer.

Alexa was able to calm Olivia down and even offered a compromise by letting Olivia keep her nails at a short and manageable length. I have to admit—Alexa is human and may not be the bitch that we’ve seen over the past four episodes.

Next Week on Jerseylicious

Oliviais dancing with Lorenzo and going to do makeup at a wedding, while Tracy is not having a good day.