Ranu's Reviews

We open up this week with Olivia getting ready for her first day of work. This girl must be a big game hunter because her closet is filled with tons of animal prints--it looks like she's been on safari almost as much as she's been inside a tanning salon.

Olivia is planning to finally move out of her parent's house and share an apartment with her bestie Brielle. She is very proud of herself for "growing up," however, Miss Maturity hasn't cashed one pay check or even shown up at the Gatsby on time yet, but she signs a lease agreement.

The Scary Fairy

At the salon, Olivia is working under the guidance of Alexa aka The Glam Fairy. Alexa is the self-proclaimed #1 make-up artist in the NY and NJ area. According to her she is ranked #1 on several web sites. I don't know this for sure, but I can tell you after about 30 seconds of air time she is the most annoying fairy I ever met. Peter Pan sure is lucky Tinkerbell never said a word!

After going on and on about how successful she is as a makeup artist, she did confess something that I picked up after that same 30 seconds on TV--this fairy doesn't have any magic in the bedroom! All this diva does is talk about makeup and herself--two things that any guy could care less about! Something tells me that the master of moisturizer is going to need a few lessons from Olivia on how to get a boyfriend.

Surprise, surprise--Alexa is on Team Fairy and there's only one member. She doesn't play well with others and gets upset when Gayle does not give her props for being the #1 makeup artist in NY and NJ when introducing the new hires to the rest of the staff.  She just got lumped in with all the others. Boo frigging hoo! If anyone deserves some extra recognition it is Anthony--he owns his own salon!

Is Wayne Brady Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch?

I don't know if anything can stop Alexa and she is just as irritating on her lunch break as she is at work! Gigi asks Anthony and Alexa to lunch to get to know them better. Anthony chose a nice place and The Glam Fairy is complaining that they served her white wine in a merlot glass--but she tells us that she's not being a snoot.  And she is drinking at lunch on the first day of work? why?

She then goes on to tell Gigi why she has no desire to get married. Something about giving up a little bit of who you are each day. C'mon sister--it has absolutely nothing to do with your inability to maintain a relationship? She is the inspiration for ear plugs.

Bring It On

Seems that we are reminded about every three minutes or so how much Tracy and Olivia hate each other. Olivia is taking the high road by just ignoring her animal-skin-print-wearing nemesis, while Tracy is just there to make Olivia's life hell. Tracy decides to make her boyfriend Lorenzo come into the salon for a spray tan--on her first day of work. Lorenzo dated Olivia for two years and Tracy seems to be very proud of Olivia's sloppy seconds--I mean, the fact that she "stole" him away from Olivia.

Lorenzo comes in and plants a big kiss on Tracy's face in the middle of the salon in front of everyone. Did I mention that it was Tracy's first day of work? While they are in the back getting their paint on--Anthony takes on the role of Cindy Brady and tattletales on Tracy. He actually is doing the mature thing and gives Gayle a heads up on the drama that is about to be unleashed on the Gatsby. He even consoles Olivia and tells her to be professional about it. This guy is good.

Pass the Cleavage

Frankie and Gigi are enjoying a nice dinner out when we are reminded again how jealous Frankie is when it comes to his woman. Oh--I'm sorry--it's not jealously--it's protecting what is yours. The waiter compliments Gigi on her necklace which Frankie perceives as the waiter checking out her salt and pepper shakers. Gigi's man tells the guy to keep walking.  Seemed a tad staged for me.  Don't get me wrong--Frankie and Gigi were great, but the waiter's delivery blew it. He then brings them their food and makes another comment about Gigi which prompts Frankie to get up in the waiter's face. Seriously?  OMG--so fake.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Christy had a "come to Jesus" meeting with Tracy and Olivia just to let them know that she is the Head Bitch in Charge. No more drama between the two of them or they are both gone. There is a bachelorette party coming in for hair and makeup--so it is imperative that these two keep their fake nails in check while the clients are there.

There were a few characters in the party. Olivia got stuck with a "tree hugger" as she put it because the girl wanted natural makeup and synthetic brushes. "Natural makeup? Go outside and like rub some dirt on your eyelashes." Funny stuff from the makeup artist who doesn't even own a makeup kit.

Anthony then got propositioned to join the lushes. Too bad this guy is married, because he is a frigging genius for going into the haircutting business. His client then tells him that she hurt her shoulder and would like a massage. He tells us that he doesn't even give his wife a massage so he isn't giving this lady one. Classic!

Feet Factor

One of the girls from the party wanted a pedicure, but all the manicurists were gone for the day. Turns out Tracy used to do nails, but not feet. She totally skeeves feet, but with someone's job on the line she dove into the pedicure--feet first! Tracy believes that this one favor has secured her future at Gatsby, but I'm sure her and her big poofy hair will be contributing to NJ's10% unemployment rate if there is any more drama from her.

Roomies!

Brielle was a busy little beaver while Olivia was at work. She got hot pink paint and must have ravaged the clearance rack at HomeGoods making all the animal print pillows and lamps extinct. Since the girls don't own any crappy clothes, they made smocks out of garbage bags. Again--so fake.

Olivia mentioned that people from Jersey don't pump gas (which is true) or paint (not true). Their place looked well-painted for two people who don't paint--kudos to the interns at the Style Channel that got stuck painting the apartment.

Next Week on Jerseylicious

The Gatsby is making a TV commercial for the salon. Scary Fairy is trying to see if Olivia is Glam Fairy material and more drama is on the way between Olivia and Tracy at some club.