Ranu's Reviews

Style Channel

10PM Sundays

OK. I am officially sick of “reality” TV shows about NJ and I live here! Aren’t there like 49 other states out there? TV gods—I beg of you—no more shows about NJ. The loud-mouth, big-hair, orange skin population of NJ is less than 1% (according to the 2010 Census), yet they get all the TV shows as of late.

The 411

Jerseylicious takes place in the Gatsby Salon in Green Brook, NJ. It is owned by Gayle and her daughter Christy works there as well. The salon just went under a major renovation ($2 million clams!) and now they are looking to hire a staff. Gayle’s 2nd hubby started the salon 32 years ago and sadly passed away in 1999. That’s when Gayle ditched her apron for a smock and took over the joint.

Here is the cast so far:

Gayle – owner and head chica in charge.

Christy – Gale’s daughter who helps Gayle run the salon.

Anthony – owner of Anthony Robert salon, which is being renovated. He is bringing in his clients while his place is closed for construction. And this benefits Gatsby how?

Alexa – she is known as “the Glam Fairy” and is allegedly the #1 makeup artist in NY and NJ.

Olivia – a young makeup artist that is eerily similar to the Jersey Shore’s Snooki. However, I haven’t heard her whine about the lack of penis in her life and she is much better looking.

Tracy – young, blonde hairdresser that hates Olivia. Her superpower is to magically show up wherever Olivia happens to be. Tracy’s kryptonite must be Disco Fries (didn’t know this was a Jersey thing, but Disco Fries are French fries with brown gravy and mozzarella cheese.) because the only time these two weren’t together was when Olivia was eating Disco Fries that she didn’t even have enough money to pay for.

Gigi – quiet, Italian hairdresser that wants to get married to her 22-year old boyfriend Frankie—who I think waxes his eyebrows. Am I the only Italian male in NJ that doesn’t wax his eyebrows?

The Good

The interview process was entertaining and I wish they would’ve expanded on that. One hairdresser in particular that interviewed, Theresa, was the shining light and demands her own show. Hands down, the most annoying hairdresser on the planet, but I couldn’t stop watching her. Theresa man laughs about as much as Jesse James’ texts women that are way less hotter than Sandra Bullock.

Anthony Lombardi is very personable and deserves more air time. He is a funny guy that every boyfriend or husband who is being forced to watch this latest reality offering from the Garden State with their significant other will be able to relate to.

Tracy did have some classic “blonde” lines. She compared cold water from the sink to the “Titanic” Ocean and said that wearing black with brown is as bad as wearing black with blue—Tracy was wearing a black dress with blue boots and a blue belt when she uttered this classic gem.

The Not So Good

It is painfully obvious that the producers are trying to make Olivia into the next Snooki. Maybe she really is that ditzy in real life, but a lot of her segments seem way too staged—especially this whole drama with Tracy. Just seems like it is more than a coincidence that Tracy suddenly appears wherever Olivia happens to be. In fact, I find it a bit convenient that there is actually video footage of these two fighting in the past over a boyfriend.

To DVR or Not To DVR?

The show has potential, but I’m not giving it the Ranu seal of approval just yet. They have some intriguing characters that will keep me tuned in for at least two more episodes, but I think they are unnecessarily pushing the Battle of the Boobies between Olivia and Tracy. Jerseylicious, minus the “ridiculicious” title, has enough to stand on its own without the feigned fighting of the two young kittens. At least there is now one reality show that has “Jersey” in the title and is actually based in NJ—for now.

For more dish on Jerseylicious, visit their web site.